Happy new year, everyone.

February
Sooo….. looking around, I don’t think the apartment will be clean in time for CNY. Might help if I took down Xmas lights, for a start.
So IU actually called a snow day? Color me surprised
Happy new year
Watched the taped Manchester derby. *fist pump* And, who says “taped” anymore?
Haven’t unpacked from last weekend’s trip but have to pack for this weekend. Almost do not want!

March
March Madness round the corner always brings back Celeb Sex Brackets memories.
Pancake Tuesday? More like PF Chang Tuesday.
Oh. My. Glee.
Facebookians, complete this sentence: “In my opinion, the best hotel/resort in Bali is….”
Just caught up with news — holy carp, Butler!
My friends are teh awesum; they send snail mail.

April
It’s turning out to be a tea with honey and two panadols every six hours weekend.
?. . . ? ? ? ? ?
May
Six more weeks till I get to squee like a tween @ the Glee concert.
Shuttle launch was AWESOME. Go endeavor! #STS134
I wish all teacher training included a 1-credit course in How To Work With Your Librarian (No, They’re Not Just There To Buy Books).
Oh hai Roland Garros.
Hands up if you, like me, did not grow up in the midwest/south and learned about the Fujita scale from Helen Hunt and Bill Paxton.
Welcome home, endeavour crew #sts134

June
Li Na dishing it out to Sharapova. #rolandgarros
Spoke too soon. damn. #rolandgarros
When was the last time you heard ‘jia you’ in the french open? #rolandgarros
is now licensed for a further 5 years to mold young minds. What’s the world come to?
Lamenting lack of preservice exposure in teacher education to info lit and collaboration w/ librarian. Gonna start a revolution from my bed. Who’s with me?
Still trying to convince my brain it’s summer and to stop working.
Gonna miss out attending JK Rowling’s announcement re:Pottermore in London by ONE DAY. Darlene Geer Zuber, this is further proof of my bad luck, no?
OMG LONDON. OMG LONDON. OMG LONDON. *faints*
Sat next to the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge at Wimbledon today. By next to I mean 150m away in a completely different court.

July
Kuala Lumpur: see you in about 12 hours!
DUMBLEDORE’S ARMY. STILL RECRUITING
Got a date with the Boy Who Lived.

August
wandering inside Borders; send search party if you don’t hear from me in two days
Do you know what tests me during this holy month? If you answer Ramadan bazaar traffic then you’re korek.
Back to school in less than a week. Happy to see friendly faces, sad that summer is overrrrrr.
Oh hai, Kuwait. What’s up?
Salam Aidilfitri. Maaf zahir dan batin. Please send along duit raya.

September
So… does this mean we can’t call her Ralf anymore? cc: IU slissards
Do not use work email like it’s your facebook wall #howhardisthat
Rock: kids googling blindly for answers drive me nuts. Hard place: I want to tell the teacher, “Your assignment prompts kinda sucks.”

October
Life is like a box of chocolates… make sure you check the expiration date.
Britney Spears will be in Abu Dhabi! … 3 days after I leave the UAE. >.

November
Who needs to do a READ poster? Beyonce. #justsayin
Really, Kuwait? You eated all ur chocolate chips? How am I supposed to make buckeyes?
Heard that there’s a horde of librarians up in Grand Wayne Center. What up, Fort Wayne?
Finally home. Yeesh.

December
Not quite sex brackets but Quadrant members will still dig this.
HOO-HOO-HOO HOOSIERS!!
Someone make me eggnog, please?
IU/Bloomington folks – I have a friend interested in IU’s School of Public and Environmetal Affairs. Does anyone know anyone in SPEA’s grad programs that might be willing to talk to her?
Hello Malaysia!

Things are about to change. Here’s hoping they stay the same after.

Having tea with Gillian Anderson is a thoroughly pleasant business — a splash of muted glamour in a fairly drab London autumn. I thoroughly recommend it, as a more engaging companion it would be a challenge to find. [Source: The Spectator]

And it appears she is in negotiations to do stage work in NYC. Now there’s a reason to start thinking of a return trip.

Some of my favourite lines from the handful of entries:

I am in Dubai now, trying very hard not to fall asleep before my connection. The airport is a madhouse and, after a very short redeye, tough on the senses. It’s like being dropped into a bad mall — all Pinkberry and loud Katy Perry.

…

After the endless, ENDLESS ceremony, we socialized, played soccer, answered questions about our lives in the States, handed out silly bands and Starbursts, and hazarded the bathrooms. The boys made quite a show on the pitch and the girls fielded the usual, “What crops do you grow?” kinds of questions. So great.

…

Aggie, a beloved family friend, made it her life’s work to travel to 100 countries. She wanted those stamps in her passport and, bless her, at the age of 80 was making visa arrangements for Guatemala to check it off the list.

Aggie, I will smoke you.

GA, DD and CC together last week (ohyarly) at a discussion type event:

He canz dans too:

And like a sucker, I’ll watch the eps that Ms. March will be on just because it’s Alex fucking Cabot. Because really, this show is beyond shark jumping and has gone on to octopus loop the loop at this point.

What I *am* excited about is the promotional appearances Smarch will do before the fall tv season begins. I’m hoping for more gems like the time on the Today Show when she got so excited talking about the shoot at the UN building (click to embiggen):

The simple things in life…

A fair number of hits to this blog are ones looking for information on how to daftar undi and google points them to this post: How to daftar undi or, what I did on Tuesday.

To those of you, I say “good on ya” and I hope you were successful at the pos ofis.

I know, from personal experience, that the SPR’s website isn’t the easiest to navigate and locate the information on how to get yourself on the electoral roll (ambiguous terms, tiny fonts, no permalinks to the information, etc. etc…).

In case you’re looking for the “official” instructions, the permalink to the page to explain the whole deal is: http://www.spr.gov.my/eng/index_files/pendaftaran_pemilihVBI/pendaftaran_pemilihVBI.asp

Finishing the books was coming to the end of a fulfilling alternate life. Watching the final movie will feel the same way, if we’re to be so lucky.

Then it gets better. And when I say it gets better I really mean it gets mind numbingly, jaw droppingly, head assplodingly bad.

This Sunday Star article, “A happy man, a happy home” reveals an amazing lack of sophisticated reasoning by the women behind this club when explaining their raison d’etre.

I couldn’t pick just a couple lines to comment on because every single word out of these ladies is just gold. So instead we’ll start from the very beginning:

THE first thing you see when you walk into the office of the now infamous Obedient Wives Club (OBW) in Rawang, Selangor, is a huge double bed covered with a velvety red bedspread.

In that situation, how does one keep “bordello”, “prostitutes” and “service” from popping to mind?

Noticing our discomfort, the club’s national director Fauziah Ariffin gives a small laugh.

“The reporters who came this morning straight away asked us if this is for the sex lessons in our workshop!” shares the slight woman jovially before adding, on a more serious note, “That is how everything has been twisted out of proportion.”

She quickly tries to set things right.

“Sex workshops are not on the agenda for the club; it is haram!”

But, you know, acting like first-class prostitutes is perfectly kosher. Anyway, you never really explained why the bed is there.

What they will have, she states, are motivational talks, counselling sessions and discussions among their 1,000 members.

“Of course, we welcome anyone to join,” she enthuses.

The newly-launched wives club catapulted to notoriety around the world recently when its vice-president Dr Rohaya Mohamed said the secret to a happy family and subsequently the solution to all of society’s ills is a happy man at home, which can be achieved if women served their husbands like “first-class prostitutes”.

A “Dr” huh? What kind? Must be very educated and articulate right? Just wait…

The outrage the remark has incurred is not surprising.

Was the remark based on facts? Definitely, avows Fauziah.

“You just need to open the newspaper or watch the news on TV: there are so many sex-related social problems rape, incest, prostitution and sex trafficking.”

Men will not be committing these crimes if they are sexually satisfied at home, she stresses.

Annnd we get to the first awesome quote. So, according to Ms. Fauziah, the spectrum of sexual violence is simply because wives are lousy in bed. How then to account for the non-married men who rape and rape as a weapon of war?

What Ms. Fauziah calls claims that are based on fact is in fact a whole lot of bullshit offered up without any verifiable proof. To wit, there isn’t even a logical fallacy here to disprove! Mon dieu!

All you need to know is that the entire body of scientific knowledge covering socio, biological and psychological motivations for rape is nonsense if you are to believe the above.

“The key to make a man gentle and loving is a first-class loving wife an obedient wife. When the wife is obedient, the husband will be happy and gentle. They will not look elsewhere for the loving they need.”

I didn’t realise all the raping is because men are looking for love.

And like simple economics, cutting off the “demand” for the illegal “sex” will cut the supply.

“The authorities have come up with a lot of solutions and conducted various raids or operations to nip these social problems, but they still exist. The solution we are proposing is one that is guaranteed to work, as it is backed by the Quran,” she explains.

Oh shit, give this woman the Nobel prize for economics now! Guaranteed by the Quran too!! Or your money back!1!!!one!

Committee member Siti Maznah Mohamed Taufik tries another argument to demonstrate how a sexually frustrated man can cause violence in society.

“Just yesterday, there was a story about a man who hit his wife with alesung (pounding stone) because she refused to have lunch with him. Do you believe that? It does not make sense. Just because of lunch, a man would hit his wife until she is hospitalised? I’m sure it is because she did not give him any the night before. That’s why he was furious with her.”

That’s right. No, no, you read right. The “do you believe that” is not outrage for the abuse this woman suffered in the hands of her husband. Oh no, Miss Siti is actually saying, “Pish-posh, it wasn’t about missing the date at KFC that caused darling husband to temporarily lose his gentlemanly disposition, that bitch was totally asking to be stoned because she wouldn’t suck cock like a pro.”

For “obedient” wives, Fauziah and Maznah are outspoken and frank about their belief. People have a misconception that they are meek women who are anti-career and anti-education, they say.

No lah, my dears, you’re actually anti-women and, quite frankly, intellectually barren.

“We were all working professionals; I was an accountant and she was an engineer. We were both educated in Australia,” says Fauziah, pointing to Maznah.

“So we have been exposed and we know how difficult it is to balance work and marriage.”

Now, she says, they are businesswomen for Global Ikhwan Sdn Bhd, the corporation that runs the OWC, and travel around the world five to seven times a year.

How do they find time to practise what they preach then?

“We become obedient wives when we meet our husband. You can say that absence makes the heart grow fonder,” Maznah quips.

She adds that they are constantly learning and reminding themselves about how to become obedient. Many working women, however, are content to neglect their wifely duties, she says.

“With housework, we can get help from maids, our children or family. But with sex, who can help? And if we go back to the time of Adam and Eve, that is the real responsibility of women (to fulfil the sexual needs of men) but many women are neglecting that responsibility, so men have to pay thousands of ringgit just to satisfy their sexual needs.”

And that is where the whole idea of the first-class prostitute service originated, explains Fauziah.

“That is what the statement means you need to be as skilful as a first-class prostitute and give more. It is not about the person, it is the service your appearance, the way you speak to your husband, the way you understand your husband. And it is not just in bed but in everything a wife has to be the best she can.”

She laments the way her vice-president’s words have been misconstrued.

“We are not equating a wife to a prostitute. A wife provides love and affection which a prostitute doesn’t,” says Fauziah.

But… but you said… ARGH!!!!

“We wanted to say that a good wife needs to be like a bidadari (an angel), but how many of us have met an angel? It will be difficult for people to relate to it.

“But mention prostitutes, and everyone will be able to visualise and understand the concept.”

What. The. Fuck?

Another question emerges: how do they know what first-class service from “elite” prostitutes is like?

“I know because I read about it in magazines and books. For example, I’ve read many thrillers of how KGB female spies are trained to use their sexuality to seduce men. We just want the service, not to be like the person. Those who read a lot will know what we mean,” shares Fauziah.

Seriously, I just kind of want to not say anything here. But I also kind of want to, so I will: Ohmyfuckinggodlady!!! Did you just say that your knowledge of high class whores comes from reading Sidney fucking Sheldon????????

And no, those who read alot don’t know what you mean, pseudo smarty pants. Those who read alot also hopefully read widely enough to realise that James A. Michener novels are not verbatim transcripts of real life.

They may not look like your typical sex pots but the two women do come across as warm and affectionate.

Malaysians, especially Malaysian Muslims, are hypocritical when it comes to sex, laments Fauziah.

“They act all prudish and don’t want to talk about sex. When they get older, the women start distancing themselves from their husband while many sleep in separate bedrooms when scientifically it has been proven that men have sexual needs until they die. That is why we have many cases of grandfathers raping their grandchildren.”

OH MY FUCK. I can’t– This is not even–

She, however, refutes the notion that the club is unfairly putting the blame on women.

“Men are responsible too. We have never denied that. But the root of the problem is that women are not fulfilling their responsibility to the men.

Dear Madam, when you say something is “the root of the problem” you are in fact blaming the entire female race. What’s more, for the rest of this article you keep saying women cause problems when they demand equal rights in the workplace and in relationships.

“If we go back to the Quran, you can see that God says women play a big role in shaping society but to do that they need to be good wives in the whole sense. Men and women are not created equal but women today do not understand that. Instead, they keep demanding that men understand them and fulfil all their wishes.”

The way she explains it, it is indeed a case of “men are from Mars and women are from Venus”.

“Men have only one desire, which is for women, while women have nine desires for a new handbag, new shoes and many more. That is how God created us, and there is a gap of understanding between the sexes.

Sorry, I missed the part in the Quran where Prada and Jimmy Choos are mentioned.

“That is why women are required to be obedient, so that they can bridge the gap between them and their husband,” says Fauziah.

“Women today, however, feel that it is the men who should understand them and fulfil all their needs,” Maznah interjects.

They believe that is the main reason why society is in a mess (huru hara): because women are demanding for equality in work and marriage.

Fauziah is not worried about young girls getting the wrong message about sex.

“We have children too. If the girls are good and have enough religious education, they will not misunderstand our message and stray from the right path. The basis of our belief is to love and be fearful of God. No religion in the world asks their believers to disobey their husbands,” she says.

As for the effect all the sex talk is having on their image as Muslim women, both Maznah and Fauziah are not too concerned either.

As Maznah puts it, “In Islam, we believe that God created women for men. Sex is natural. If you look at the Quran, there are a lot of references to sex.

“God even promised sexual pleasure from beautiful bidadari in heaven for those who are good. So are you saying that God is sex-crazed or obscene?”

What’s obscene is that I had to read this garbage and then worry that people are going to buy into your vile and vacuous views that’s straight out of the middle ages.